i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
