what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize