Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
