Got a toothbrush?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
