My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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