I heard we made out
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
