Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
