Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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