hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
