walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize