How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
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I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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