How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
