so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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