I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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