she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
