Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
