I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
