He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
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he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
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Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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