That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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