I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
