Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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