how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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