my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.