omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him