I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.