she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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