The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
