office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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