Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
