he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize