its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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