dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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