And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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