i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
