grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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