I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
