She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
