It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts