Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS