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I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
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