I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
