the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
did you just send me my own nude
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
