I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize