Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
