Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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