here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
