Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize