he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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