waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
