he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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