i will never coherently bang her
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
