He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it's like iHOP with fire
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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