I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I got inside last night via doggy door
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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