i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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