she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
