you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize