He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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