he wants to bone in the snuggie
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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