well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Mom said you looked used
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
