I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
