3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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