I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
