i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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